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Pregnancy Worries

5/28/2018

3 Comments

 
PictureJorjanne
My husband, Chris, has always wanted another baby. I’m the one who proclaimed we were done, especially once my boys were old enough to start taking care of themselves. Of course, in the back of my mind, I felt that maybe we weren’t completely done with children, but I really thought that God was leading us toward a path of fostering and potentially even adopting down the road.  Our family and friends always joked with us that we needed to try one more time so I could have a little girl for Chris. He’s such a fun uncle to all our nieces, but I knew if we had a baby girl, he’d never be able to say no to her!

l’ll always remember how he would play and make faces with all babies and little kids while we were dating. It didn’t matter whether we were at church or with family around children we knew, or if we were complete strangers to a child in a store or restaurant, kids seemed to be drawn to him. I knew he would make an incredible father, thanks to moments like this, and that’s one of the things that made me fall in love with him. I was right; he is an incredible father!
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With our first two boys, I was a stay-at-home mom. I’m grateful to Chris for making that time work because I know it wasn’t easy for us financially. Although teachers don’t make enough, losing my salary and insurance was quite a blow! Once Caleb started pre-school, and Seth started first grade, though, I began to toy with the idea of working outside our home again. I took a couple of long-term substitute teacher positions, which made it clear to both of us that I shouldn’t go back to teaching. Soon enough, Roxie and Matt talked to me about coming to work for them in The Cafe, which is how I joined the Fourth and Cherry family in 2011.
Fast-forward six years. By this point, I’m shuttling Seth and Caleb to school and extra-curricular activities, while working in The Café and as part of The Southern Mercantile team. I truly enjoy my job and feel as if I’m not only helping my family achieve their goals, but am starting to realize some of my own dreams. And then, I find out I’m pregnant again at 38 years old! (By the way, I turned 39 in March.) I must admit, I freaked out a little bit - my mind was reeling with thoughts of “I’m too old for this,” “My boys are old enough to do for themselves,” and “I don’t have time to have a baby!” When I revealed the news to Chris, I couldn’t tell if he was going to cry or pass out from the shock!
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The first person I called was my sister, Marcy, who is a nurse practitioner in a maternal-fetal medicine practice, which means she deals with high-risk pregnant mothers. She has been such a valuable resource and voice of reassurance throughout my pregnancy - once she stopped laughing! Because of my “advanced maternal age,” I knew I would be referred to her practice, which was just fine with me. I trust my sister and wanted her to be as involved with my pregnancy as possible! 
Once the initial shock of being pregnant wore off, my mind turned to worry and fear. I worried that I would miscarry early on, as I figured out I was pregnant around 5-6 weeks. Then, I worried I would have a later miscarriage, even into my second trimester. I worried about my baby having Down’s syndrome or some other chromosomal abnormality due to my age. There was a possibility that I could deal with Intrauterine Growth Restriction. And, the fact that Chris had a cerebral hemorrhage and seizures when he was born was a concern for the doctor, which made me worry about that. 
You should know that I am not normally a worrier. When I do have irrational thoughts that flit through my mind, usually I can talk myself out of actually worrying about whatever is going on. With this pregnancy, though, I found that hard to do. I have had so many friends and family struggle with miscarriage, still birth, and infant loss, that it became a real fear for me. I had this horrible feeling that something terrible was going to happen to my baby, and then I would not only deal with grief, but also guilt over the fact that I felt so overwhelmed when I found out I was pregnant. For some reason, I had this irrational fear that I would never meet my baby, and I felt like it would be my fault.
At some point, after being reassured by my sister (and multiple test results) that my baby was growing as he should, with no signs of any abnormalities, I began to worry that my fear meant something terrible would happen to me instead. This made me worry more about leaving Chris, Seth, and Caleb behind to raise our baby boy. Instead of blaming me for losing him, would they blame him for losing me? 
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No one really knew how I was struggling. I’ve never understood how someone could be so paralyzed by fear and worry, but now I do. It is mentally taxing, and I see now how it can even be physically crippling. I prayed and prayed for God to grant me peace somehow, but it didn’t come. Until Easter Sunday. 
I don’t remember much else about our Easter Sunday service, but I remember singing “Because He Lives.” And, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit about me like I never have. I’ve always loved that hymn, even as a child. When I sing this song, I hear my Mama’s sweet soprano voice singing it along with me. If you’re not familiar with it, here’s the chorus:

    “Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
    Because He lives, all fear is gone.
    Because I know, He holds the future.
    And, life is worth the living, just because He lives.”
Such simple words, but so powerful. I’m wiping tears even now as I recall trying to sing along that morning. I was emotional then, but could still sing until we began the second verse:​

    “How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
    and feel the pride and joy he gives.
    But, greater still, the calm assurance,
    this child can face uncertain days, because He lives!”
By this point, I was a blubbering mess, just trying to hold it together, hoping no one would notice! I felt God’s peace washing over me, a “calm assurance,” and “all fear is gone.” Somehow, no one else saw me falling apart, or at least they never said anything. I’ve told very few people about this experience so far, but felt compelled to share it with y’all. I want you to know how powerful God’s peace truly is, if you can allow the Holy Spirit to work in you. As Philippians 4:7 states, it really does surpass our understanding.
I left church Easter Sunday feeling so much lighter, even though my belly didn’t show it! And, wouldn't you know, God had already placed a reminder around me for when I would begin to fear again? A couple of years ago, my mother-in-law was cleaning out cabinets and found a plaque someone had given her when Chris was born. She passed it along to me, and somehow, that plaque ended up on the desk in the foyer of our home. What’s on the plaque? A copy of the hymn, “Because He Lives.” As I mentioned earlier, I’ve always loved this hymn, and as it turns out, this hymn brought great comfort to my mother-in-law when Chris was born with a cerebral hemorrhage and faced surgery once his seizures stopped. (That’s a miraculous story for another time!)
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The week after Easter, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes; no surprise, given my family history and the fact that I had almost every risk factor on the list. This means I have to keep track of my blood sugars, and if I don’t keep them under control, my baby could grow too big, which could mean I would have to have a C-section.  I’m now on medication, which has a slight risk for stillbirth, so I have to go to the doctor twice a week to monitor his heart rate, while I make sure he’s moving throughout every day. While these are valid reasons for me to be scared, I don’t worry like I did before, “because I know, He holds the future.” And, whatever happens, “life is worth the living, just because He lives!”
A big thank you to Summer Laurel Photography for our new family portraits.
3 Comments

The Southern Merc Guide to Grocery Store Flowers

5/25/2018

4 Comments

 
PictureRoxie
Most everyone enjoys the beauty of having fresh flowers in the home, but few of us actually keep them around on a regular basis.  While picking up a beautifully crafted flower arrangement from your local florist on a weekly basis would support a local small business and be easiest, it might not fit into your weekly budget or your busy schedule!  All of us buy groceries and most grocery stores sell fresh flowers.  If you find yourself drooling over the flowers in the grocery store as you push your cart to the produce section, then this blog is for you!  Pick out your favorite mix and put them in your cart because you can turn those awkward grocery store bundles into a beautiful bouquet like this in just a few quick steps! 

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Many people make the mistake of bringing flowers home, removing the plastic, and dropping them straight in a vase (that may or may not be the right size) without any trimming or arranging.  While the actual blooms are very pretty, the arrangement will look very awkward and well, like you bought them at the grocery store.  ​
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One of the problems with store bought bouquets is that they usually don't include much greenery. To me, greenery is the most import key to creating a lush and beautiful arrangement.  To get started you will need: a bundle of store bought flowers, your favorite vase, clippers (or your kitchen shears if you don't have yard clippers), and greenery cut from your yard.  
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For this tutorial, I intentionally chose some random greenery from my yard.  Don't stress over what you are cutting.  If you think it looks pretty and has a nice shape, then use it!  I am using stems of camellia, azalea, and an unidentified branch from a tree, just because I liked it!

*Note, if you live in an apartment with no access to fresh greens, there is still hope for you to liven up your arrangement!  Look at the grocery, to see if they have any bundles that have greenery, of if they have greenery you can buy to add to your preferred bundle.  If that is not an option, then choose a vase with a smaller neck, so that your flowers will not be too loose when arranging them. 
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Start your arrangement by adding your greenery to your vase.  Before I start to put my stems in my vase, I trim the leaves off of the bottoms of the stems, so that no leaves will be plunged into the water.  Clean stems help to keep your arrangement from getting murky water. I started with the azalea first and then added in the camellia.  You will need to trim the stems so that the leaves start at the top of the vase.  I use the side of the table or counter that I am working on, to help me decide how much to trim off of the stem.
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​Spin your vase as you fill in so that you can green the arrangement evenly on all sides.  I saved my shorter, unidentified pieces of greenery to fill any holes at the end.  
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Next, separate all of the main flowers from the mix, leaving the filler flowers aside. This bundle had lilies, mini hydrangeas and roses.
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As with the greenery, you will need to remove the leaves from the bottoms of the stems, so that there are no leaves in your water. 
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I like to start with my boldest flowers first and then add in smaller ones.  The lilies aren't open yet but when they do open, they will be big and bright.  I started with a taller stem in the middle, and then added one a little shorter on each side.  Again, using the side of the table to help me decide how much to cut off of my stem. 
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Next I will add the mini hydrangeas.  I don't want any of these to be quite as tall as my tallest lily.  I add one to the center of the arrangement and then the other three, spread evenly around the sides.  
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Next, the roses.  I have a nice little spot in the middle so I add one in right beside the tallest lily.  Then add in the others, evenly around the sides.  
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You can start to see a pattern here.  Build each layer, starting with the center, working out around the sides of the arrangement. 
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Next I will add the "filler" flowers.  These little daisies will be just what this arrangement needs to brighten it and add interest.  Daisies often have flowers that grow too low down the stem, so don't feel bad when you have to remove a few of their dainty blooms.  I added my first stem to the center and then worked around the sides.  
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I wanted to show a picture of my "trash" pile so you would know that I did have to remove quite a bit of foliage and low growing blooms from the stems.  I don't want you to be afraid that you are trimming too much!
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Lastly, I used the unidentified greenery to fill in little holes around the bottom of the arrangement, to make it look nice and full.  
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And ta-da! Just like that you have turned your awkward grocery store flowers into a colorful masterpiece!  
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If you decide to try your hand at this at home, we'd love to see your finished product!  Tag us on Facebook or Instagram so we can see your handy work. I hope you've found this helpful, and that you feel empowered to go forth and arrange flowers without fear or hesitation! 
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4 Comments

Welcome To The World Baby Perry

5/17/2018

0 Comments

 
This past Sunday we had the honor of celebrating Jorjanne and baby Perry!  We thought this would be a fun way to spend the afternoon on Mother's Day.  When coming up with a theme for the shower, we were inspired by Perry's nursery.  Jorjanne chose to decorate his room with maps.  We decided that a "Welcome to the World" theme was appropriate!
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Vintage globes and maps were used to pull the theme throughout the room.  We even made little map flags to top the cupcakes with!  We had a delicious spread of southern favorites; a cheese ball, chicken salad sandwiches, pasta salad, wedding cookies and lemon cupcakes.
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Roxie found the sweetest children's book to use as the guest book.  It's called "The Wonderful Things You Will Be."  Its pages are filled with beautiful illustrations and encouraging words.  It was so fun to read and imagine what baby Perry will become!
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Jorjanne had a wonderful crowd at the shower, most of which were family!  Chris even stopped by to say hello.
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Jorjanne's sisters, aunt, niece and mom were there to celebrate with us.
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Chris' side of the family was there too!  
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When it came time to open gifts, we had a ball!  We laughed at the tiny clothing that we knew Chris would love and were in awe of the handmade gifts they will cherish for years. 
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Jorjanne received tons of practical items, as well as a few fun things too!  Baby Perry, we are now ready for you!
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If you are new to The Southern Mercantile, you may not know that we have a brick and mortar store called The Shoppes at Fourth and Cherry.  The Shoppes is where The Southern Mercantile was born.  Inside The Shoppes, we have a Cafe.  Running the Shoppes and Cafe is our "day job", I guess you could say.  We have a wonderful work family that we are blessed to share life with.  The Lord has always provided the right people at the right time.  And right now, we are prepared and ready for baby Perry's arrival!
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A Picture's Worth

5/11/2018

4 Comments

 
PictureTara
​They say a picture's worth a thousand words, but I think it's worth a million if you know the story behind it.

There's something about old pictures that does something good for my soul.  One of my favorite things to do is flip through my Nana's old photo albums and listen to her reminisce.  ​

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It is so funny how I can recognize a face in a faded black and white photo--but that just isn't enough for me.  I need to know where they were and what they were doing so that I can put the story together in my mind.  To some, a picture might not mean too much, but to me, they mean the world. 
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​I'm sure you've recognized from previous blog posts that Roxie likes to decorate with old family photos in her home. (She even uses copies of them throughout the shop!)  I thought it was such an interesting and obvious idea--why hadn't I thought of that before?  
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​Old family pictures are great reminders of what really matters in life.  They are interesting to look at and are always a great conversation starter.  They add an element of depth to your decor, while keeping things simple. 
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I just love learning about our family through photos.  Sifting through stacks of pictures resulted in countless conversations.  It is because of this that I know exactly where my bossiness, wrinkles and love of cooking come from.   My favorite photos are those from my Nana's childhood.  Not only was she beautiful, but so full of life!  She went from silly to serious, from tom boy to beauty queen so seamlessly.  Her personality just jumps right off of the page.  The pictures of her from years ago are almost whimsical--maybe that's why I love them so much.  ​
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​With Mother's Day quickly approaching, I thought it would be fun to encourage you to sift through your own family photos this weekend.  Start conversations, listen to stories, and embrace where you came from.  Choose a few of your favorites to feature in your own home. This is one of the ways I have chosen to honor my family. (Especially my mothers!)
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If you were inspired by this post and are looking for unique ways to display your old photos, consider these brass and glass frames!  They come in three different sizes and are just perfect for showing off your favorite photos.  What I love most about his particular frame is how you can see the edges of those old and tattered snapshots. 
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